Air Travel is Stoopid

The FAA has decided to allow people to bring portable oxygen containers onto airplanes. Your bottle of Diet Coke however, will not be allowed due to the risk of it being used to manufacture explosives while in flight. So lets make sure this is perfectly clear, a device that mentions the word explosion four times in the manual, is fine, no problem, bring it right aboard. That container of chocolate pudding? Sorry sir, we're going to have to confiscate that. What other dangerous things can I bring on board you ask? You could peruse the list yourself but I'd be happy to point out a few other oddities. Those extra sharp scissors with the pointy tips? As long as the blades are less than four inches, feel free to carry them on. That disposable razor is also not a problem. Pair it with a pair of pliers (less than seven inches in length!) and I'm pretty sure you can get yourself a razor blade. Screwdrivers? Again, anything less than seven inches is just fine. Knitting needles are just fine. Haven't they ever seen Halloween? Anything that can be used to nearly stop the killing machine that is Michael Meyers should never be allowed on a plane! Here's a good one: moisturizer is not allowed but, personal lubricant (up to 4oz) is. If I'm sitting next to a guy on the plane and he takes his 4oz of "personal lubricant" into the bathroom, I'm holding it until we land. I'd rather sit next to the knitting needles.

Why is all this important? Well' it turns out that some people think that the bomb manufacturing plot was, well, manufactured. As it turns out making explosives in the manor described is nearly impossible and requires several hours. I'm pretty sure the bathroom line would become quite noticeable after a couple hours of occupation. If you are chemically inclined, you can read about the difficulties in this article. So for now, be sure to check you nail polish and deodorant and prepare to take a big swig of that breast milk before they'll let you bring it on board. Oh, and watch your toes, here comes another oxygen tank.