Today's Lesson: Do You Feel Lucky, Punk?

We'll, do you? I hope so, because a brilliant, forward thinking Republican state legislator from Madison, Wisconsin has solved the school shooting issue. His idea? Give guns to the teachers! That's right, if we arm the teachers they can protect our children from, well, other children. Even better he is able to back up this solution with hard evidence. What evidence, you ask? It worked for Thailand. In the immortal words of Jules Winfield, a man who would appreciate this suggestion immensely, "that's all you had to say." If it worked for Thailand, it's good enough for me. Maybe we should institute a caning policy as well. That seems to have worked out alright for Thailand. But back to the guns. The answer to gun violence, as we all know, is more guns. I know more than my fair share of teachers and I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with the idea of any of them carrying a concealed weapon. Come July, when that throbbing vein is permanently visible on their forehead and that right eye twitches uncontrollably, I'm not sure throwing a gun into the mix is a good idea. No offense to all the teachers out there but maybe we could just start out by giving you clubs and see how that goes. I mean it works for the English Police doesn't it? I wonder what the police in Thailand carry. Now get back to work before I have to wave this gun at you in a menacing fashion.