Are We There Yet?

Happy fourth anniversary of "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq! I've felt much safer ever since we won that pesky war on terror. As the spooky disembodied voice at the airport reminds me on a weekly basis, "The Department of Homeland Security has raised the threat level to (dramatic pause) ORANGE!" I could be wrong but orange is bad isn't it? Orange indicates a "high risk of terrorist attacks." Is it just that orange is the new green? It's like Starbuck's calling a small a tall, it just seems better. Although I guess if the government followed the Starbuck's approach then green would be the new orange instead of the other way around. Oh well, as long as I'm surrounded by confused people running around in their socks holding clear baggies stuffed with miniature toiletries, I'm safe and I don't care what color your threat level is. Unless its purple because that's the secret vente (or is it grande?) of threat levels they haven't told us about yet...