Swimming with the Fishes

This weekend we visited a local indoor water park to celebrate my niece's birthday. In a rare moment of solitude as I relaxed at the rigid plastic table we had so wisely claimed earlier in the day, I happened to see a small girl fall into about two feet of water. She was unable to swim and an alert lifeguard plucked her out within seconds. The lifeguard immediately dispatched the girl's older sister to find their parents while busily looking annoyed that he had been forced to get his swim trunks wet. Upon seeing her parents, the older sister exclaimed "Mom, Mom, Kara drowned!" Now it could just be me but I swear I heard a tinge of satisfaction in the older sister's voice. Mom, on the other hand, didn't find that particular description of the situation amusing at all. Luckily for all, Kara was fine and Mom became exponentially more attentive.

As for our own little pair of Esther Williams, the biggest threat they faced was the strange white foam that seemed to form a thick ring around the hot tub. Looking like that industrial run-off you see in streams situated near leather tanneries, I was unable to convince them that the foam was not in fact bubbles but rather the boiled off remains of people. People soup you might say. The Moms simply requested that I tell them to keep their mouths closed while submerged. Add hot tubs to the list of things to avoid.