No U-Verse for You!

Near the entrance to our subdivision is an unassuming green box. I never really paid it very much attention until yesterday. It turns out, that box is the arbiter of the fiber optic. Unfortunately, we live too far from that box (4,400 feet to be exact) which puts us into the digital slums of the subdivision. Cursed to forever suffer under the yoke of Comcast. Some day the bits will be free, but not today.

New Article on DevX

My latest article ”Reliable Sessions Made Simple with WCF” is now available on DevX. If you’ve got nothing better to do (or find the subject matter strangely compelling) check it out.

Emma/Shadow 2021

Upon discovering that we have not yet had a female president, Emma declared that she would be the first. She’s also chosen a running mate… the cat. When pressed on her platform she responded, “Well, we’re gonna kiss a lot of babies. It shows people that we care.” The cat’s hot-button issue will surely revolve around napping. I’m pretty sure she’ll tap her cousin for Chief of Staff provided she passes the confirmation hearings. I don’t think the irregular accounting will be an issue. So, as the 2021 campaign season begins, you and your baby might want to be on the lookout for a kissing eight-year-old and a sleeping cat.

I Want to Live!

I have stared death in the face and laughed. Laughed! That’s right, yesterday I unwittingly consumed a recalled Larabar Peanut Butter Bar.  It was a tasty 200 calories of death. I seem, dear readers, to have survived but just in case there are any lingering effects, I feel I should warn you that this may be my final post. I was in possession of four more bars but, someone with more sense than I insisted we dispose of them. Thinking back, I realized that if I had survived the first one, the other four were probably a pretty safe bet.

Hallucinations

This explains a lot. Now if I can just get that purple gorilla to move so I can get some more coffee (as the voices have instructed me)…

A Suspect Emerges

The person across the aisle from me just finished a job interview over the phone. This is relevant but, as an aside, how little do you have to care about your current job to be taking interviews on your business line in your cubicle? It's not like we sit in offices with, you know, doors and stuff. Anyway, it's clear that he's feeling the heat of the ongoing garbage can investigation and is trying to get out before the jig is up! I'll be watching him closely...

Grand Theft Office

Never leave your cubicle unguarded. Case in point, upon my return from vacation, I discovered that my garbage can was gone. What kind of monster would steal a garbage can? Aside from Oscar the Grouch, I can't even imagine what such a person might be like. Now I'm forced to actually get up and walk to the next cubicle every time I need to throw something away. It's inhabitant is getting rather annoyed but, little does he know, he's a prime suspect. Maybe I'll nab his when he's away at lunch. What's next? My coffee cup? My Ethernet cable? I'd be concerned for my stapler unfortunately, I don't have one, yet...

Cubicle Hero

With the holidays safely behind me and the buzz officially worn off, here I sit with my pants just a little tighter and my wrists just a little more sore. The long grind to spring begins. The memories of ham and turkey and cookies and cake will linger alongside the extended Guitar Hero sessions. What better way to ring in the new year than by clicking your way through Crazy Train with a stringless plastic guitar?  Well, I suppose clicking your way through Crazy Train while surrounded by fellow stringless plastic guitar enthusiasts. Luckily, I seem to know a few. Maybe someday we'll meet a fake plastic drum player to round out our ensemble. It is with a newfound rhythm that I look forward to the long winter ahead for I will become a master of beginner level fake guitar playing. Three chords buttons of fury unleashed. Someday I may move up to medium but I doubt it.