COOL

Way back in 2002 some lawmakers thought it might be a good idea if meat producers had to indicate on the label what country the meat actually came from. It seems like such a simple idea but, as I've come to learn, the producers of our food have a vested interest in keeping us as ignorant about it as possible. Unfortunately for that 2002 law, the implementation was delayed through the power of the meat packers, pork producers, and grocery chains. They claimed it would create a record keeping nightmare and increase the cost of meat. Funny, but the meat I buy is labeled with where it was raised, what it was fed, and where it was slaughtered and processed. Add to that the fact that it costs less than the meat at the grocery store and the industry arguments don't hold much water. Trader Joe's also manages to label the country of origin on their meat and the prices seem pretty reasonable to me.

Fast forward to 2007 and the Country of Origin Labeling (COOL) law is part of the farm bill passed by the House. It still has to be merged with the Senate version of the bill and make it past the White House but at least there's a glimmer of hope.

Water Water (and Mercury) Everywhere

British Petroleum recently received approval to continue dumping mercury into Lake Michigan. It looks like they've been dumping about 3 pounds a year and now they have until 2012 to stop. The Federal Standard is 1.3 ounces per year. If you live in Indiana (or Illinois), you might want to re-think that trip to the beach. Oh, and the next time you see that commercial about how green BP is, you'll know better... assuming your brain isn't fried from all the mercury.

Harry Who?

As I brave assault of Harry Potter and the Amalgamation of Recycled Story Ideas, I'm reminded that there are still people actually writing creative fiction that makes you think. Case in point, the Washington Post review of Spook Country.  Harry may be a wizard, but Gibson never disappoints.

It Really Tied the Room Together

"I peed so hard some got on the rug." Go ahead, let that sentence roll around your head for a moment. Pre-kids, those same words from an adult would have sent me running for the hills or at very least prompted a "what the heck is wrong with that guy/girl" conversation with my wife. Post-kids, it's just another straw piled on the camel's back. Fortunately for me, is wasn't my child that uttered that little gem. Unfortunately for me, it was our monkey rug. That rug really tied the room together. Bummer man.

Save The Spindle

If you live in the lovely town of Berwyn, Illinois then you might be interested to know that Walgreen's wants to tear down the iconic spindle. The spindle resembles a large spike with a bunch of cars stuck on it. If saving large scale art in Berwyn is you're thing, then check out Save the Spindle. I like saying Berwyn because it makes me think of Svengoolie. The spindle, not so much.

Scary

This graph is scary. Based on this, people would rather vote for someone who has never held office before than an atheist. In fact, they'd rather have a former drug user, someone with no college education, or someone on anti-depressants than an atheist. The one conclusion I can make based on this graph is that 63% of the people polled are stupid. Honestly, who cares if you're atheist, homosexual, Muslim, or a Mormon? Maybe if we had more of all those in office we wouldn't be in the mess we're in right now.

Sweaty Butt Syndrome?

Finally a cure for those of you who suffer from the dreaded SBS (Sweaty Butt Syndrome). It's the Thanko USB Powered Butt Cooler. Once again the Japanese have outdone us.

Lighters and Breast Milk

The TSA has announced that "Lighters no longer pose a significant threat" and as a result they will be allowed on planes. Oh, and breast milk too, although I'm not sure that ever posed a threat, they just banned it to annoy people. I haven't heard of any breast milk based terrorist plots.... yet. In any case, out friendly airport security personnel are no free "to focus more on finding explosives, using behavior recognition, conducting random screening procedures and other measures that increase complexity in the system, deterring terrorists."

If complexity in the system was their goal then they deserve a pat on the back because getting through the airport is nearly as difficult as doing you income taxes. Enjoy your lighters and breast milk while you can. I'm sure they'll take away something else soon. Socks and underwear? Tissues and raisins? Milk and cookies? Chocolate and peanut butter? We'll just have to wait and see.

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

I've always enjoyed baseball. I fact, it was at a Cubs game way back in 199? that I first glimpsed my future bride (sorry honey dates have always eluded me). Let me be clearer, I've always enjoyed going to baseball games. Baseball itself is frankly, pretty boring. It's only the addition of beer, peanuts, hot dogs, and fireworks that make the game interesting. In fact those guys in uniforms running around on the grass seem to be periphery to the whole affair. The scoreboard has way to much information on it. Simply figuring out the score seems to involve some sort of math skill that eludes me. Who's winning? No idea. Which team is which? No idea. Where can we go to get a Harp? Oh, the shortest line is right over there.

Of course bringing children to a baseball game adds a whole new dimension to the experience. Now you've paid to get repeatedly poked with a giant foam finger and have your hot dog stolen. The mascot can't possible keep them entertained for 9 innings but poking dad with the foam finger sure can. Once that gets old you can always turn on the unsuspecting strangers behind or in front of you. Ah yes, a good time was had by all. Thanks Joliet Jackhammers. I have no idea if you won or lost, but we sure had a good time at the game.

Doh!

Vermont? Clearly, the Simpsons are not from Vermont. I mean, there's not even a Shelbyville in Vermont. Illinois came in second place. We all know that's where the Simpsons are really from. Vermont, mmmm, maple syrup...

Ginormous News

Feel free to use "ginormous" on your next research paper with abandon. It's officially a word along with DVR, Bollywood, crunk, and nocebo. Go ahead, make up your own word. I'm sure it will find it's way into the dictionary in a few years.

Sweet

This guy flew 193 miles by attaching balloons to his lawn chair. He probably didn't even have to go through airport security first. He did get fined $1,500 for violating air traffic rules. It's probably because the water bottles he used for ballast were bigger than three ounces.

Even More Dramatic

If you thought the Dramatic Chipmunk was high comedy, then you'll really love The Top 10 Dramatic Chipmunk Moments. In 20 years, you'll be seeing these again on VH1's Remember the 00's.

Patriotic Hangover

The neighborhood seems to be fully recovered from its patriotic hangover today. The spent casing of Chinese manufactured fireworks purchased from exotic locales like Indiana litter the streets. It's as if the citizens have been saving up all their patriotism for the entire year only to spend it all in one cathartic evening. A red white and blue money shot. A flag waving, rocket red glaring display of unrivaled love for one's country. Unfortunately, with all the patriotism proudly displayed over the course of the day, it will take some time to recover. Things like voting, the environment, recycling, conservation, fixing our broken government, those are going to have to wait while we all recover. We need to rest up for another rousing rendition of America the Beautiful. Next July 4th of course. Maybe we'll drag the flag out for Labor day but, without explosives, it hardly seems worth it. I sure wish that ringing in my ears would stop.

How Dramatic

In case you missed it, here for your repeated viewing pleasure is the Dramatic Chipmunk. Based on my sampling of one six year old, this is the funniest video ever made. Repeat viewings make it even funnier.