Don't Puck with the Animals

Unless they're Alton Brown, most celebrity chefs don't do much for me. It's mostly because their shows are, well, for show, and really don't teach you very much. Alton manages to turn each recipe into an education plus, his french toast and pancake recipes have have caused more than their fair share of salivation at our breakfast table. I had to re-evaluate my stance just a little when I read this article by Wolfgang Puck. You see, he's talking about responsibility. A chef's, or any cooks, responsibility is not just to fill people up. It's about feeding people healthy ingredients that you can feel good about. It's also about the welfare of the animals. Sure, we're eventually going to chop their heads off and eat them but, that doesn't mean they shouldn't be well treated while they live. Mr. Puck has come to the conclusion that where the ingredients come from is just as important as what we do with them. He calls for all chefs to follow suit. On a smaller scale, I would suggest that all cooks do the same.

P.S. If this issue interests you, I recommend "The Way We Eat: Why Our Food Choices Matter." A very interesting, disturbing, and enlightening read.

Sorry Ladies

Sorry ladies, I know you all thought I was the most handsome alopecia beneficiary around. I hate to break it to you but that may not be the case. A little research has turned up a few competitors:

• Humphrey Bogart
• Stone Cold Steve Austin
• Patrick Stewart
• Christopher Reeve
• Billy Zane
• Seal

That's right, they all suffered from alopecia and let me tell you, you people with hair are kinda yucky. You're always shedding and leaving hair everywhere you go, ick. It's just not right. So there you go, who can compete with the Casablanca guy, a professional wrestler, Captain Picard/Professor X, Superman, a guy who was on the Titanic, the dude married to Heidi Klum, and 5 million other people in the United States.

The Power of the People (who like chocolate)

The FDA has gotten the message that people don't want the definition of chocolate changed. You can read my previous entry on the subject here. The issue was the subject of a Washington Post article today. My favorite quote from a spokesperson for the big evil corporations™:

"We want to emphasize that by co-signing the food industry petition, CMA has not endorsed any particular changes to the standards of identity for chocolate products."

Really? Because I thought that's exactly what the petition was asking for. So you asked for the change but you don't really want it? Maybe we should just drop the matter then. Stupidity.

Hotel Stories

Isn't it wonderful that we live in an age where we can share our horrible life experiences with complete strangers? This page has some great pictures from less than elegant hotels around the world. A few of my own greatest hotel hits:

• The hidden porn stash
• A room with a lizard
• Demolished lobby
• The case of the missing sardines

Isn't traveling fun?

Damn You Cats!

Renowned Cornell cat expert dies when he crashes his motorcycle trying to avoid... wait for it .... a cat! If that doesn't sum up cat ownership, I don't know what does.

A Response on HB 429

According to the response I received from my state representative regarding HB 429, "the sponsor of this bill has agreed to hold the bill on 2^nd Reading until all parties could meet and come to an agreement." I think this is good news but I'm not exactly sure. Although, my favorite quote from the response is this:

Currently HB429 amends the Liquor Control Act of 1934 to deal with direct wine shipments to consumers and addresses issues raised in a U.S. Supreme Court ruling in May 2005 that stated that states who allow in-state wineries to ship directly to consumers must treat out-of-state wineries equal. As your letter mentions, Illinois currently allows in-state wineries to sell directly to consumers, but limits out-of-state wineries, so Illinois is in violation of the U.S. Commerce Clause.

Funny but I've never had any problems receiving wine from out-of-state wineries or retailers. Also, if you actually read the proposed changes, this little nugget "Deletes provisions (i) permitting first-class and second-class wine-maker licensees to sell wine directly to retailers" seems to indicate that they would no longer allow wineries to sell directly to retailers. I'm no lawyer but this sounds an awful lot like the wholesalers making sure they get their cut. Smells rotten to me.

Your Dog Wants Hobo Chili

It's Dick Van Patten's Eatables for Dogs! Dog food so good they process it in a USDA plant, with people food! At first I thought this had to be some kind of joke but with flavors like Hobo Chili, Irish Stew, and Chinese Take-Out how could you go wrong? The illustration of Dick Van Patten dressed as a different racial stereotype on each can is adorable. Oh, and just so you feline lovers don't feel left out, kitty can have Venison and Green Pea, Tuna with Shrimp, or Indoor Cat Formula (formerly Hairball Management) which, surprisingly, does not seem to contain any actual cat. I wonder why they changed the name on that last one.

Won't Somebody Please Think of the Chocolate!

You can change a lot of things around here and probably get away with it. But, when you start messing with chocolate, you might just run into some resistance. It seems the Chocolate Manufacturers of America (CMA) has petitioned the FDA to change the definition of chocolate. They want to substitute vegetable oil for coca butter and whey protein for whole milk. Why? Because the new ingredients are cheaper (seeing a pattern here?). You can get all the details at Don't Mess with Our Chocolate. You can also leave a comment for the FDA here. Don't Mess with our Chocolate has instructions and a suggested comment here.

I should point out that most small chocolate makers oppose this change. The CMA represents the large companies you would expect: Hershey, Cargill (they make chocolate?), Nestle, etc. Although they are a member, Guittard opposes the plan.

HB 429

If you live in Illinois and you ever have wine shipped to your home, you might be interested in HB 429. Our friends at the liquor lobby are trying to help the poor consumers by eliminating out right to purchase wine from out of state and have it shipped to our homes. If you care (and you live in Illinois), email your state representative and tell them you do not support HB 429.

I can say from experience that this is only the first step. In Maryland, you can't buy wine in a grocery store. In Pennsylvania, you have to buy cases of beer from beer distributors. In New York a chain (such as Whole Foods) can only get one liquor license for one store in the chain. These laws have nothing to do with protecting consumers and everything to do with maximizing the distributors' profit. Let's hope we don't start down that road in Illinois.

Calories per Dollar

Here's an interesting article on how we can thank the Farm Bill (at least in part) for the obesity problem. One of the most telling facts in the article: "the real price of fruits and vegetables between 1985 and 2000 increased by nearly 40 percent while the real price of soft drinks (a k a liquid corn) declined by 23 percent." It's actually cheaper to buy foods that are less healthy. Scary.

You Look Just like that Guy from TV

"You look just like that guy from TV" was how I was greeted at Starbuck's this morning. "Thanks, I think. Which one?" was my reply. Now, I have been told by a seven year old that I resemble a younger, balder George Clooney but, I'm pretty sure that's not what this particular woman was referring to. Based on her incoherent response, I'm guessing she meant some other less attractive bald guy. She probably didn't think that one all the way through before the words came out. It's alright, I've been compared to many bald celebrities over the years resulting in varying degrees of flattery. I'm going to go ahead and assume she meant Bruce Willis and just go on with my day.

Seeing Red Again

Chevelle, as expected, put on an excellent show on Friday at the Riviera. I do have to say that when I was a boy, we didn't bring cell phones to concerts, and that's the way we liked it! There was no hugging, high fiving, checking email on you smart phone, taking pictures with your smart phone, making videos with your smart phone, texting, LOL-ing, or anything else. We did however have plenty of STFU which brings me to the opening band. Finger Eleven? I've got some suggestions for what you can do with that extra finger. You could poke the bass player to make sure he's still alive, you could use it to point the rhythm guitar player off the stage or, you could plug one of my ears so I only have to listen to 50% of your songs. It's a shame your not called Finger Twelve because then I could get both ears covered. But I digress. I'm sure the legions of camera phone toting hipsters recording the show for posterity in stunning 1 megapixel resolution will have a digital memory they can treasure for years to come. I tried to get a picture of them with my camera phone but, it didn't turn out.

Fresh Harvest Farm

Sue and I decided to try out a concept called Community Supported Agriculture this summer. We just got our first update from Patti, our farmer:

"Hello everyone. Tuesday was, to me, an exceptionally beautiful day. I had the opportunity to work in the field under a clear, blue, spring sky while the weathermen accurately predicted impending snow. I worked preparing beds for our snap pea seeds and onion transplants. With a little bit of luck, we will lovingly press the first pea seeds into the ground next week and our beautiful baby onion transplants will take up residence in their new home beyond the protection of their glass nursery. As I worked, I came upon one cheery yellow dandelion flower, held close to the ground so as to conserve warmth during this cold spring. It was so good to be out on the land, I could hardly keep from dancing. This is going to be a wonderful season and I want to personally invite each and every one of you to join us for the harvest, to join us in the great adventure that lies ahead. The planting plans are all in place and just waiting for the right moment to be implemented, the tractor is tuned up and running like a champ, the tools are ready and we are all chomping at the bit to be out on the land and growing."

I'm looking forward to our first shipment of vegetables. By the way, Patti is still looking for more families to help support her effort, here's the contact info to get more information:

Fresh Harvest Farm -10030 W. 151^st St. Orland Park, IL 60462

708-945-9993 - email: pmcphillips2 at aol.com

If you're looking for a local source of veggies in your area, check out Local Harvest, it's where I found out about Fresh Harvest Farm.

Even the Animals Hate this Weather

My sympathy to the animals on having to brave snow in April but, you cannot come in for a nap. Imagine my surprise when I noticed that something figured out how to open the sliding screen door on the patio. Alas, the poor fellow had to give up as the locked door beyond it was too much for him to figure out. Based on the footprints I'm guessing it must have been a racoon. Shouldn't they be busy digging through our garbage?

Who Killed the Electric Mower?

Well, I guess we did. While the Neuton seemed like a fine product and the people at the company were very helpful, in the end it had to go back. Too small and a little under-powered for our needs. As nice as it would have been to eliminate gasoline from the lawn care equation, I don't think that day has arrived. If we were urban dwellers with a much smaller lawn, it probably would have worked out.

Woman Survives Six Story Fall

I think I would have rather taken my chances with the sidewalk.

Daylight Savings

It looks like moving the switch to daylight savings time in March didn't help reduce energy consumption. Maybe the government should concentrate on light bulbs, plastic bags, and cars rather than confusing the heck out of Outlook and making everyone late for meetings.

Bello's Bike

OK, whoever took Bello's tiny bicycle should be ashamed. First of all, what were you going to do with a six inch bike? It's not like you could ride it all over the neighborhood and act all casual about it. Maybe you could use it to trick your kids into thinking they're growing really fast. Second of all, stealing from a clown just seems wrong. Those guys (and girls) at the circus who have to run out with a shovel after the elephants? They tried to steal from a clown. Bello got his bike back and the circus has a shovel waiting for the person who took it.

I'm Sorry Michael, I'm Afraid I Can't Do That

A dealership in California has the fully restored KITT for sale. That would be the Knight Rider car for those of you who weren't 9 years old in 1982. At $149,995 I would expect something besides the red blinkly light to work. No microwave jammer, no flame thrower, no parachute, no ski mode, and no seat ejection system! Oh, and forget about the turbo boost, the closest you'll get is that turbo booster seat you'll have to jam into the backseat to take you kids to soccer practice. Maybe you can get the dude from St. Elsewhere to sit in the back and do the voice.

Poor Mr. Toad

This week while walking to the bus stop, Emma happened upon a dead toad lying on the sidewalk. The toad was covered in fertilizer and had apparently wandered through the lawn next door which, had just been fertilized. Luckily, Sue got stuck with the task of explaining what had happened to poor fellow. Emma wondered why someone would put something on their lawn that would kill toads and presumably, other animals. That's a good question and also one of the many reasons we've stopped using traditional fertilizers. Things like milky spore, corn gluten, and organic ferlizers may not get us the greenest lawn in the neighborhood but, not having to worry when the kids a rolling around in the grass seems like a worthy trade. As for the toads, we've added a toad house in the back yard to hopefully coax some of the beneficial little guys over to the side where the grass isn't quite as green.