Diet Coke & Mentos

A dangerous combination? According to NPR, the results can be explosive. These guys have raised it to an art form.

Happy Halloween

Its time kids. Make sure you have your Silver Shamrock mask on and watch the magic pumpkin. Happy Halloween!

Saving Daylight

In honor of this weekends adjustment of the clocks, a few interesting facts about our old friend Daylight Savings Time:

• It was invented by Benjamin Franklin who thought it would help people save money on candles.
• It was first widely implemented around the world during World War I as a way to save on energy costs but was eliminated after the war.
• It was widely implemented again during World War II.
• Originally each locality could decide when they wanted it to start and end, resulting in mass confusion.
• In the U.S. it was reenacted a third time in 1973 due to the oil crisis.
• In 2007, it will get longer as it is officially extended by three to four weeks. March 11 through November 4th.

I hope everyone enjoyed their extra hour of sleep this weekend, now get back to work. Or, read the details on WikiPedia and Seize the Daylight.

Now That's a Pumpkin!

On October 7, 2006, a new world's record was set for the largest pumpkin ever grown. The beast from Rhode Island weighed in at 1,502 pounds. I'm not sure what you do with a pumpkin that large but I sure hope they don't raffle it off. Maybe Peter's wife could use it.

Narcissus

2 sore backs, 160 planted bulbs, and nothing to show for it until Spring. This place better look like frickin Holland when they bloom. Although, since we planted Daffodils (the bunnies eat Tulips) I guess its going to look more like Wales. It's their national flower.  

Frankfort gets (un)Wired

Who knew our small burb was so tech savvy? It looks like our downtown may be getting free wireless Internet access. This is a good thing. It speaks directly to innovation. With ubiquitous Internet access, all kinds of possibilities open up. It can't happen fast enough.

Wasting Time with Web 2.0

A great way to kill some time on a Friday...check out Zillow.com.  Enter your address and see all the home values in your neighborhood superimposed onto a Google satellite map. Just so you can say you learned something today, the term for this type of application is a mashup. A mashup is a web site that combines content from more than one source. In this case, Google satellite maps and real estate data. Have fun looking at your neighbors' home values.

SpongeBob is Irresistible

This 3 year old climbed inside of a vending machine to get a stuffed SpongeBob toy. He didn't get the toy but at least he got to see some firemen as they tried to free him. I feel for the poor Grandmother. It could have happened to any one of us.

Bald = Young

"Daddy, you look really young." Aw, what a nice thing to hear from your five year old daughter. I'm not terribly vain but it's still nice to get a complement every once in a while. My ego sank just a bit when the follow up was "I think it's mostly because of the baldness cause otherwise you'd probably have lots of gray hair." For your information, I had brown hair.

Keep your Belt On Straight

Time for a tip. A kind clerk at the Coach store shared this tip about belts with me a long time ago and it's paid off. If you wear the same belt every day like I do, it quickly starts to curve into a sort of C shape. If you want to keep it nice and straight for the long term, simply wear it backwards every other day. The first day thread it to the left and the next, thread it to the right. Keep alternating and you'll avoid the dreaded curved belt syndrome. As an added bonus it's good for your dexterity to keep changing it up.

Your Dog Needs Rehab

NPR has a story about a cocker spaniel addicted to licking toxic toads. I'm inviting that dog to my next party. I bet she could hook us up with some sweet hallucinogenic toads.  

Digital Freedom

As long as I haven't climbed down from my soapbox (I like the view), I should mention The Digital Freedom Campaign. You may not know it but the Evil Corporations™ are working very hard to limit what you can do with the music, books, and movies you purchase. If you think this isn't a big deal, go buy a song on ITunes and try to play it on an MP3 player that's not an IPod. You can't. Can you imagine buying a CD at the store and only having it work in your Nissan's CD player but not your Ford's? You'd be upset, right? Digital Rights Management is software that controls how you can use the music and movies you own and the large record labels and movie studios are really pushing it. Its good for them but it is not good for consumers. Make sure to check out Defective By Design to learn why DRM isn't good for consumers.  

If you need an example of how DRM can effect you today, read about the Sony Rootkit. Essentially, Sony shipped music CDs with software on them that secretly installed itself onto any computer the CD was played on. The software was intended to prevent people from copying the CDs and could not be uninstalled. It remained secretly hidden on the computer and silently prevented copying. 52 different albums were shipped with this software before a security expert noticed it. In the resulting controversy, Sony was forced to recall the CDs, provide software to remove the program, and in many cases, pay fines. All this was done in the name of controlling what the consumer could do with the music they had purchased. It only gets worse from here.

Visitors

Since I started tracking these things on September 1st, I've had visits from quite a few countries. It hasn't been a ton of traffic but, it's still cool to see visitors from other countries show up. Its hard to figure out a specific location from the map on this page so, here's the roll call so far (ranked by traffic):

• United States (Illinois, Indiana, New York, Ohio, California, Texas, Arizona, North Carolina, Mississippi, Georgia, Michigan, Massachusetts, Virginia, Florida, Colorado, Utah, Tennessee, Nebraska)
• United Kingdom (Sutton Coldfield,
• Republic of Korea (Seoul, Kumi)
• Australia (Box Hill)
• Argentina (Mendoza)
• India (Dharavi)
• Hong Kong (Central District)
• Canada (South Porcupine)
• Netherlands (Leidschendam)
• France (Mûres)
• Portugal (Setubal)
• Israel (Ramat HaSharon)

I should also mention that the fine people at Cabela's visited the site yesterday. They must have been interested in my take on the Coyote Hat. Its good to see a company actively checking how they are portrayed online.

Death by Caffeine

Are you addicted to caffeine? The Death by Caffeine calculator will tell you exactly how many cups of coffee or cans of Coke you can drink before you'll die. Based on my current weight, it would take 262 cans of Coke (I think the gas would kill me first) or 109 cups of coffee. You can also check the Caffeine Database to see how much of everyone's favorite legal drug is in your beverage of choice.

Net Neutrality

Imagine going online and getting a faster connection to Amazon than to Barnes & Noble. All other things being equal, where would you shop? I know I'd shop at the site with the faster connection. Now imagine that your broadband provider (Comcast for example) could charge Amazon a fee and in return, guarantee them this faster connection. Does this seem like something you'd be in favor of? Does it seem fair or even right? This is one example of what could happen if broadband providers (Comcast, Verizon, AT&T, etc) get their way. These providers want to eliminate Net Neutrality. The content providers (Google, Yahoo!, Microsoft, etc) are obviously fighting hard to prevent this. It is important that you are aware that there is a struggle going on in our government right now over this topic. The bottom line is that no matter what the broadband providers say, you, the consumer, are already paying for Internet access and they should not be able to control what you access. Network Neutrality is good for us, good for the country, and good for innovation. The carriers and broadband providers should not be allowed to control the Internet.

Visit Save the Internet to learn more. While you're there sign the petition, contact your congress person, or forward the link on.

Windows Defender

If you're running the Windows Defender anti-spyware product, the final version was released yesterday. You can download it here. If you're not running it, and you have Windows XP, you should be! It's free and it will help keep spyware off your system.

A Little Dinner with Your Ketchup?

 Prior to having a child, dinner was a pleasant affair. We'd discuss the days events in a rational manor and occasionally, go nuts and eat in the family room with the television on. It was relaxing, calm, and something I looked forward to. Post child birth, dinner has become a distorted carnival of horror run by a violently unpredictable ringmaster with a crippling addiction to that horrible red substance know on the street as "ketchup". A typical diner might now unfold something like this:

1. A napkin is dropped on the floor and, in a vein attempt to retrieve it, a five your old's head is accidentally dipped into the large stockpile of ketchup on the plate.
2. In an attempt to wipe the ketchup from the aforementioned head, a five year old elbow is dipped into the same ketchup.
3. In an attempt to clean the soiled elbow, a glass of milk is knocked to the floor (explaining why we still use cups with lids)
4. A bright light flashes outside the window causing a ketchup soiled, milk stained five year old to make a mad dash for the window.
5. Every item between the table and the window is touched with a ketchup soiled digit. Including the walls, chairs, floors and, as impossible as it sounds, the ceiling.
6. Upon return, the first of several queries of "Can I be done?" is offered up.
7. After refusal of the query, the ketchup is cleaned off, a new napkin is provided and dinner is resumed.
8. One bite later, "Can I be done now?"
9. No
10. Two bites later, "Can I be done?"
11. The answer is inevitably, "Are you full?" which is greeted by an equally inevitable look of bewilderment.
12.  "Fine, you can be done."
13. And finally, the coup de main, "Can I have a treat?"

There you have it, 13 steps guaranteed to make your dinner a memorable one. Feel free to stop by and join us, just look for the house with ketchup smeared on the front door.  Oh and if you could stop by the grocery store and pick some of the red stuff up on your way, that would be great.

Better on a Stick?

Its been theorized in the comments that everything tastes better on a stick (John, you might want to take over the cooking duties). I found a place where they live by that motto. If you like your winters cold and your food on a stick, it looks like the Minnesota State Fair might be the place for you. This video features just about every food item imaginable ON A STICK! Some of my favorites: a deep fried Three Musketeers on a stick, spaghetti on a stick, and a Scotch egg on a stick. In case your wondering, a Scotch egg is a hard boiled egg, wrapped in sausage, coated with bread crumbs, and deep fried. A delicacy I have actually sampled myself in lovely Wisconsin. 

Good and Good for You

Mmm, chocolate chip pancakes and sausage on a stick. Now you don't have to eat corndogs for breakfast anymore. If they could find a way to embed little drops of syrup between the pancake and sausage, they might have the perfect food.

The Ultimate in Comfort

If you find that your panty lines aren't quite visible enough and you wish you could incorporate yarn into your underwear situation, you're in luck. Direct from Hawaii, you can now get crochet underwear! Check out their selection of crochet bikinis (always practical for the beach) and of course, pick yourself up a crochet thong.

Pet Rock

This artist will paint your dog on a rock! I have to admit, she's pretty talented. I'd rather see one of these on my lawn than the usual reminder a dog leaves behind. I wonder if she could paint a coyote hat on a rock.

Internet Explorer 7

This is a rare "technical" post but it's important to spread the word that Internet Explorer 7 is available. If you're running an earlier version of Internet Explorer (and based on the logs, most of you are), you should go to this Microsoft site and get the update. It's free, it's more secure, and I've been running it for about a month without any issues.

Learn from the Past

"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." I heard Keith Olberman refer to this quote on the news last night while I was flipping channels. It turns out Benjamin Franklin said this in 1759. It seems appropriate as we do exactly what Benjamin was warning us not to. You can now be put into prison and they don't have to tell you why. Couple that with the legalization of torture, warrantless wire taps, and whatever else they're doing in the name of stopping terrorism and its a little frightening. Now back to funding funny things made out of stuffed animals.

Halloween Costumes

Still trying to find that perfect Halloween costume for the little ones in your home? Desperate to show up those bratty kids from down the block? Here's a few suggestions. How about going door to door as General Robert E. Lee? What's that you say? He was a Confederate. Go figure. OK, if your not into that whole "War of Northern Aggression" mindset, might I suggest you send the little tyke out dressed as a Whoopie Cushion? Oh, you're afraid that fat guy down the block might sit on the poor child. Well, I've got one last suggestion. This is a can't miss and it's utilitarian. The kid won't even need a candy bucket. They can go trick or treating as a Toilet! There you go, the trifecta of guaranteed to get you beat up by older kids costumes. Enjoy!

That's a lot More Blog Entries

According to the Living to 100 Life Expectancy Calculator, I'll live to be 91. Assuming I don't get hit by a bus or eaten by an alligator, I'll be boring you all for a long time to come. It also means I can put off cleaning the basement until 2064.

A Less Threatening Squirrel

From the dead animals as useful household items department, we bring you the Squirrel Decanter. Imagine sitting back, relaxing, and pouring yourself a glass of 18 year old, single malt from this baby. Luxury and elegance pure and simple.

Mid-Term Exam

Tonight at 9:00 PM is the zero hour. The last chance to take my first Accounting exam. In the proud tradition of college students everywhere I've done the bulk of my studying today. I feel oddly disconnected from the process. I think it has to do with the fact there's no lectures and no classrooms. Although, thinking back, I didn't exactly spend a lot of time in a classroom my first time through college. Maybe its the lack of a Mortal Combat machine to while away the hours. Anyhow, I'm very interesting to see how the testing experience feels online. If I just remember that Debit and Credit means left and right and not negative and positive, I'll be OK.

Take that China!

The U.S. population officially hit 300 million at 7:46 a.m. EDT this morning. For the zero impaired, that's 300,000,000. It hit 200 million way back before I was born in 1967. According to the Population Resource Center, the U.S. is a distant third in terms of population. China, the big winner, has a population of 1,313,000,000. Only a billion more than the U.S. India, a close second, has a population of 1,112,000,000. Come on America, we've only need 1,013,000,001 more to claim the top spot!

OK Go On Treadmills

Your treadmill is probably in the corner gathering dust. Maybe it's a make-shift clothing rack used for drying sweaters. These guys have turned theirs into a veritable Cirque Du Soleil. I wonder how may tries it took to finally get this right. Oh, and they're from Chicago too.

Hats Revisited

Ok, this isn't really a hat but it's still hilarious. This is the 21st Century equivalent of the Coyote Hat. A real device manufactured by Toshiba that promises to give the user a 360-degree immersive experience. I guess if your neck holds up, it might be cool. Does it come with a chiropractor?

Isthmus be My Luck Day

 Oh sure, I thought it would be a quick stop at the final farmer's market of the year. We'd pick up a little squash, maybe some eggplant and let Emma pick out a pumpkin. For future reference, I need to specify a weight limit for these sorts of things. Emma ended up the lucky winner of this giant pumpkin (delivery not included). I won the privilege of figuring out how to get this 100+ pound monster home. Thanks to a quick response by Grandma and Grandpa, I didn't have to carry it alone.  After Halloween, I may need to resort to weapons of mass destruction to get this thing off the porch. Oh ya, and Emma got two toys in her Kid's Meal. Somebody must have woken up on the right side of bed. I hope a little of that good luck rubs off for my first accounting exam tomorrow.

Paraskavedekatriaphobia

 A bit of trivia on this Friday the 13th. In Greece and Spain, Tuesday the 13th is considered the unlucky day. Paraskavedekatriaphobia is a fear of Friday the 13th. Finally, the 13th is more likely to happen on a Friday than any other day (with Sunday and Wednesday in a tie for second). Until April 13th, 2007, don't walk under any ladders. As always, you can visit Wikipedia for more info.

Your Pumpkins are Weak and Puny

Now this guy can carve the heck out of a pumpkin. I wonder if he uses one of those kits with the little orange saw and poker. If he does, mine was missing a couple of the patterns.

Red IPod Nano

Bono and Oprah were in Chicago today to announce the availability of the red IPod Nano. They must be really expensive because it looks like they're sharing one. I wonder what a duo like that listens to. Probably Slipknot. 

Nerd Score

Take the test and find your nerd score. Here's mine:

Getting Even for the Hat

The perfect Christmas gift to put the fear of squirrels into the kids. Fun for the whole family! Yes, for the low, low, price of $119, you too can have your very own hunting squirrel. You'd be a fool not to buy one. Oh and your squirrel-proof bird feeder doesn't stand a chance.

AeroGarden - Day 24

Gardener's Log, star date 106283.8.  The experimental aerophonic garden continues to thrive in its Earth based atmosphere. In particular the Basil, both Italian and Purple, seem to agree with the level of moisture and nutrients provided. Mint, Parsley, and Cilantro seem to be amenable as well. More troubling however, is the matter of the Chives and Dill. The Chives continue to grow but refuse to maintain an upright position preferring instead to be parallel to the growing surface. Perhaps the gravitational pull of the AeroGarden unit is having an unforeseen effect on their molecular structure. I'll monitor them closely. The Dill, regrettably, has failed to appear as promised. The indicated 10-14 day sprouting window has, sadly, come and gone without any sign of growth. In a final act of desperation my science officer removed the bio-dome two days ago. We're at a loss to explain the situation and its feared that pickle production may be severely hampered. Research into the issue is ongoing.

Glad That's Over

I'm glad to have the GMAT over with and to be able to get back to concentrating on the course work (and my full time job). In some ways, the test was more difficult than I expected. In others, it was about even with expectations. I can heartily recommend The GMAT Advantage with Professor Dave. The math skills covered in the book matched the exam very closely. I wouldn't have done nearly as well without it.

GMAT Time

The day has arrived, I've put off studying as long as possible. In 90 minutes, its time to sit down and take the GMAT. According to my calculations, I need a score of at least 301 to be accepted into the MBA program. I'm pretty sure I can score a 200 by randomly mashing the keys on the test computer. The test is scored on a scale of 200 to 800 with 800 being a perfect score. I think I'll be alright. I've reviewed the FOIL method and I know that the area of a trapezoid can be computed by multiplying the height by the average of the bases. I know that the sum of the heads on a Pierson's Puppeteer and Zaphod Beeblebrox is 4 (I really hope they ask that one on the test because I'll nail it). Remember all that stuff they made you learn in high school? All those times where you asked "Are we ever gonna use this stuff in real life?" We'll the answer is yes. If you ever have to take the GMAT, you'll use this stuff. Otherwise, you can forget it. An extra geek point to the first person that leaves a comment explaining what a Pierson's Puppeteer is (and no cheating by using Wikipedia).

Roadkill as Fashion

Disclaimer: We get the Cabela's catalog on a regular basis and, while I'm not a hunter, a fisherman, or even terribly outdoorsy at this point in my life, we have bought quite a bit of outdoor clothing from them. I like to stay warm while using the snowblower and, more than one of Emma's winter coats has come from there. Their gift card has provided us with a default, no thought required holiday gift for Dad for many years. They ship fast and the service is great. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, hopefully Cabela's won't send me a cease and desist letter.

While perusing the latest issue of the Cabela's catalog, I happened across what I think may be the hot new look of the fall. Forget Ugh boots and Crocs. Anyone who is anyone will be wearing a Bridger Mountain Man Coyote Fur Hat. Oh sure, it'll appear on the Paris runways first and maybe it'll seem just a little risque for the average person but give it time. By January, you'll see that really hip guy in the office wearing one. Soon they're be everywhere. Babies, bridal parties, your boss at your next annual review. Then you'll have to have one. Alas, in two years, it will be in a box in the attic next to your bell bottoms, Ugh boots, Crocs, friendship bracelets, and flannel shirts. But isn't that the way with all great fashion trends? Just remember, you heard it here first.

Does That Make Me crazy?

Gnarles Barkley has something for everyone. If the name alone isn't enough for you, the kids love the repeated and gratuitous use of the word "crazy". And now for the geek set, we have them performing as characters from Star Wars.

Today's Lesson: Do You Feel Lucky, Punk?

We'll, do you? I hope so, because a brilliant, forward thinking Republican state legislator from Madison, Wisconsin has solved the school shooting issue. His idea? Give guns to the teachers! That's right, if we arm the teachers they can protect our children from, well, other children. Even better he is able to back up this solution with hard evidence. What evidence, you ask? It worked for Thailand. In the immortal words of Jules Winfield, a man who would appreciate this suggestion immensely, "that's all you had to say." If it worked for Thailand, it's good enough for me. Maybe we should institute a caning policy as well. That seems to have worked out alright for Thailand. But back to the guns. The answer to gun violence, as we all know, is more guns. I know more than my fair share of teachers and I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with the idea of any of them carrying a concealed weapon. Come July, when that throbbing vein is permanently visible on their forehead and that right eye twitches uncontrollably, I'm not sure throwing a gun into the mix is a good idea. No offense to all the teachers out there but maybe we could just start out by giving you clubs and see how that goes. I mean it works for the English Police doesn't it? I wonder what the police in Thailand carry. Now get back to work before I have to wave this gun at you in a menacing fashion.

No More Bald Babies

Someone has finally addressed an issue that has plagued mankind for ages: bald babies. Thanks to the good folks at Baby Toupee, no longer will babies have to resort to little tiny comb overs. You can choose from the Lil Kim, the Donald, the Bob, or the Samuel L. Think of the embarrassment we could have saved our children had we only had baby toupees.

Lookout!

How's this for marketing: the tag line for Mazda's new SUV is  "The SUV You Never Saw Coming." I can imagine the commercials now. Close up of a woman, pan out, she's lying in a hospital bed, she turns slowly and utters, "I never saw it coming." They could even have a contest where they drive ten of these all over the country and try to hit people who aren't looking. If you get hit, you win one. It's the "SUV You Never Saw Coming" giveaway! Since Ford owns Mazda, they should apply this campaign to other things like factory closings. It's the factory closing you never saw coming! Oh, you got me, I didn't. Don't people sit around in a conference room and say these things out loud before they use them? I might use it for my blog, forget snakes on a blog, sleep with one eye open because it's the blog you never saw coming!

Frickin' Sharks with Frickin' Laser Beams Attached to their Frickin' Heads

Since nobody seems to have gotten the reference to Austin Powers in the comments, I'll provide you the appropriate Wikipedia link to allay your confusion. You see, the comment was attached to a post that went into detail about an evil plan to corner the shirt folding, oh never mind. Sarcasm surrenders.

Thanks

Just wanted to thank everyone who used the Amazon link or downloaded Picassa from the link. Thanks to your itchy mouse fingers, the site is in the black for the first month ever! That's right, I'm on my way to building my vast Internet Empire which will fund my secret plan to amass an army of evil shirt folding slaves and thereby corner the market on shirt folders forcing you all to walk around wearing wrinkly shirts. Unless, that is, you pay me a reasonable "shirt folding" fee. I sure hope no one figure out the trick in that video. I wonder how many shirt folders I can get with $3? Maybe I'll just get a latte instead.

2006 Banned Books Week

 Posting this a week late but, it's never too late to read a banned book. Last week was Banned Books Week sponsored by the American Library Association. It's just wrong to ban books. When someone else gets to influence what is and is not available to the public, we've all done something wrong. If anything we should just ban the boring books so kids don't have to suffer through them anymore. Dickens, I'm looking in you direction. I'm still trying to find the best of times in that damn book.

Coolest Shirt Folding Video of the Day

I tried to think of something clever to say about this but I'm too busy being mesmerized. If I could fold shirts like this, I'd probably be forced to fold a lot more shirts around here so, it's probably best that I don't master this technique. You can learn anything on the Internet.

The Tribune Woke Me Up for Nothing

It was with baited breath that I peered out the window onto the dew covered landscape this morning. The suspense was at an end. I would finally see if the mighty Tribune could muster enough organizational and navigational prowess to place their newspaper onto my gleaming driveway. Imagine my disappointment as I gazed out at an abandoned wasteland. Tumbleweeds blowing past in the breeze. You woke me at 6:58 AM demanding to know my location and, this is how I am repayed? Our brief relationship is over. I no longer want your news, comics, or sales flyers. I can suckle at the teat of the Internet for my informational nourishment. Keep your dead trees. You'll rue the Sunday you failed to deliver our paper (for the fourth week in a row).

A Tip for the Ladies

I've experience many awkward social situations that have involved shaking hands with women. Actually, I've experience many awkward social situations with women but I've learned to leave my embarrassing past behind me where it belongs. Back to the topic at hand. After taking a completely random sampling of one woman who happened to be within the sound of my voice, I realized that women may not be aware of inter-gender hand shaking etiquette. So here it is. Ladies, a man is never supposed to offer his hand first. If you do not offer your hand, they are supposed to assume you do not wish to shake hands. So, the next time you are introduced to a gentleman of distinction such as myself and it seems like he's just standing there with his arms at his sides, it's because you're supposed to make the first move. I'm pretty sure a man made up that rule to take some of the pressure off of himself but, we mustn't second guess the wisdom of our ancestors and their arbitrary rules of social interaction. Next time, we'll discuss the dreaded dead fish handshake.